Surprise, it’s summertime and thus means time for new SWIMWEAR. 

Usually this season makes me hate myself and my body even more than usual, a very difficult feat (great job, summer!), but I’m such a fan of these high waisted two pieces that have been fashionable the past few years. Surprise! I can actually wear them and not look like a delusional cow/whale hybrid! I found this one over the weekend, in pink and I am in love. I finally was able to try on a suit and not cry. Progress. 

But as I tried on others, I began to lament the fact that one cannot wear Spanx at the beach. 

Long story already too long, I came home and began to search for more Marc Jacobs swimwear because holy shit all of his suits are super flattering and I made the greatest discovery of them all: Spanx makes swimwear. 

I later took inventory of my life and decided that my Spanx discovery (Spanxovery?) is not only my greatest achievement but today was also the happiest day of my life. 

Suck it, college graduation. First generation Americans do that shit all the time.